What is Love?

" What is love?  Oh, baby don't hurt me.  Baby don't hurt me no more.  Oh, baby don't hurt me.  Baby don't hurt me no more.  What is love?  Yeah...oh, I don't know why you're not there.  I give you my love, but you don't care.  So what is right and what is wrong...gimme a sign.  What is love?  Oh, baby don't hurt me.  Baby don't hurt me no more.  What is love?  Oh, baby don't hurt me.  Baby don't hurt me no more."    -What is Love? by Haddaway

What is love?  People have been asking such a question since the world began.  Even this one hit wonder could not seem to figure out.  He has no idea what love is but he does know that he does not want to be hurt.  This song may be simply be a nostalgic glimpse into some of our pasts but I believe it also proclaims a prophetic statement of our humanity.

We want love but we get lost on where to find it.  We attempt to pour out "love" yet are not sure if what we are doing is correct...we are looking for a sign.  And as we as mortals reach out with one hand for an embrace we hold the other up in defense in case the quest for love does not go well...in case the other person "does not care".  What a sad existence...always longing for acceptance and confirmation of worth but always remaining on guard for failure.

What is love?

Will we ever know?

The last week of my life consisted of watching 66 kids between the ages of 5 and 11 screaming out this question.  "What is love?  Yeah...oh, I don't know why you're not there.  I give you my love, but you don't care."  I spent a week at camp for kids that have been sexually, emotionally, or physically abused.  "So what is right and what is wrong...gimme a sign.  What is love?"  These kids have spent their entire lives looking for love in a world in which those that were charged with loving them have shirked that responsibility.  They are looking for anything to which they think might bring them the answer to their question.  Acting out, sexual expression, physical dominance...after all...what is love?

This question not only rang out for the kids but the staff and counselors...what is love?  Where does it come from?  How is it expressed?  As I work to understand the meaning of love and what it is...all I know is that the only thing that I can hold on to is the ultimate example of love.  Our world has shown us many different ways to show love...even the Bible can be confusing in its expression...so I just choose to focus on the concept.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him!  For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!  Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation." Romans 5:8-11 (NIV)

Now you know...live accordingly.

Squiggles

Words are the way in which we as humans primarily communicate.  We also use non-phonic methods such as gestures, body language, and guttural sounds but it is the words that, for those speaking English, are formed from the twenty-six different symbols that we call letters.  It is extremely arbitrary if you think about it.  Our entire system of communication if based upon choosing random squiggles, designating a sound to that squiggle, putting the squiggles into groupings, and then giving those groupings meaning.  "Elephant" could have just as easily been spelled "Asqtinfi".  A "pencil" could have been "stomachache".  The whole thing is so simple and un....unsolid.  Yet it controls everything that we do.  Prolonged expression of squiggle groupings have started and ended wars.  The lack of the expression has done the same.  "Love" is the word that God has chosen to use His unending, unconditional, unquantifiable care and protection and passion and affection for us...we also use it to talk about our favorite Skittle color.  Depending on when or where you grew up the meanings of words change.  Being "Bad" is not always so awful.  "Freedom" does not mean lack of responsibility.  "Fatherhood" is not disposable.  We all look at words and meanings differently.  I think that is what makes cultures so vibrant is the ability of its citizens to continuously expand and explore and grow.  God does the same thing with His Word and the Bible.  He wants us to explore who He is and who we are to worship and serve Him...but just like exploration can be beneficial, one can never forget where they came from.  Words can also gain or lose their power depending on who is presenting them and how they are doing it.  "Hands in the air" is taken differently depending on whether a child or a policemen is speaking.  Many of us do based solely on the presence of the person that is telling us what to do.  I am a Christian and believe in the God as my savior because the God of the universe said so.  It all depends on the authorities that we respect, if we even consider them authorities.  Humans often determine the value of words and concepts on how they view the person.  Researchers once had two men of similar age and education experiences, one with a British accent and another a Southern accent, read a speech to an audience.  Both speeches were identical in content.  Listeners were later asked to choose which man was more educated and provided better information.  People overwhelmingly chose the British man.  The British man was deemed smarter because of how he was perceived.  The audience automatically shut out the words of the other man because they deemed him to not be an "authority".  We pigeon hole people and their messages based on the words and language that they use...especially when it makes us uncomfortable.  Man does not like to hear they are wrong and thus jump to conclusions and actions because of it.  Words are powerful.  They have the ability to heal and destroy.  Do not judge someone or ignore their words purely because of age, gender, wealth, education, word choice, or personal injury.  Be open.  Ask questions.  Know the motives and concepts behind the words for after all...words are just squiggles.

James 3:3-12 (NIV)
³ When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴ Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵ Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. ⁷ All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, ⁸ but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.
¹¹ Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Paradoxicalness

It is sort of confusing.

I was once an engineering major looking towards a career as a design engineer with a Research and Development department.  Two years later, I was called by God to minister to youth.  I was then an engineering major looking for a youth pastor job with a distaste for my previous engineering dream.  Two years later, I turned down a youth pastor job and accepted a design engineering job with a Research and Development department.

Poop.

Welcome to my paradoxicalness.

Now one may ask, what would make a fairly sane (go with me) man with above average intelligence in his early twenties to live with such reckless abandon?

God.

Yes...God.

God made me do this sort of crazy life choices...and the funny thing is that I am okay with it.

You may say, "Stephen, you have been jerked around like a rag doll and made to make such idiotic life decisions.  Why are you okay with this?"

Because I'm a dude...and He is God.

(Awkward Silence)

"So you just summed up the explanation for the activities of the last four years of your life with: 'Because I'm a dude...and He is God'?"

Yup.

"Really?  All the major decisions in your life...dude...God?"

Yup.

"Sure?"

Yup.

"Alright."


¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.                                Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) 

A Moose Named Greg

The moose was confused.  He had left his pile of pineapples under the licorice tree not ten minutes ago and now they were gone.  The moose, also known as Greg, could not fathom this recent occurrence.  He had been saving his toenail clippings for almost two weeks so he would have enough to trade with the blind goat at the market for some of his famous pineapples.  Greg was never sure what the near-sighted ram did with all the clippings but he knew he liked what he got in return.  (For those that do not know of the pineapples in question, these were Pepscue Pineapples.  Pepscue Pineapples grew only on the underbelly of a particular elephant named Frieda.  Frieda has the first and only recorded case of Pepscuitis.  Pepscuitis results in the infected to ooze a slimy green mucus that had the strong smell of toe jam and mint but contained the needed minerals and nutrients to support the rare Pepscue Pinapples.  The blind goat, ironically, knew where to find Frieda.)  So here was Greg out two weeks worth of toenail clippings and a pile of Pepscue Pineapples.  He was altogether distraught at the whole situation which is understandable.  After all, Pepscue Pineapples are the rarest pineapples in the world (see above "parenthesized" explanation) but taste oddly of sweaty sock juice which Greg finds delicious.  

So Greg was now confronted with the dilemma of what to do next.  He wanted to find his beloved pineapples but he could abandon his kids (Greg is currently the adoptive father of a nest full of light blue eggs, surprisingly the exact size of billiard balls.  He is the nurturing type.).  Thus Greg did what any loving father would do when faced with a choice between family and food: he improvised.  He scooped up the nest into his antlers and went in search his pineapples.  Not an hour later, Greg found his Pepscue Pineapples moving across the forest floor, yes moving.  Obviously shocked, he scampered over to his mobile snack (taking great care for the little lives on his head naturally).  Greg saw upon closer observation that the pineapples were being carried across the forest floor by an army of Bolivian Jelly ants (great on toast).  Being a peaceful and logical animal, Greg, now grateful for those two semesters of Bolivian in college, struck up a conversation with the produce laden insects.  Come to find out, the ants were simply hungry and had found these food orbs laying on the ground.  They had taken them because they did not believe them to belong to anyone.  When Greg offered to provide them with some berries on the top of a nearby bush as a trade, the ants were more than willing to oblige   The trade was made, the ants continued on, and Greg turned around to go home.

As stories of this nature tend to go, at that exact moment the eggs on top of Greg's head began to hatch.  Greg excitedly put the nest (which was resting next to the recovered Pepscue Pineapples in his antlers) on the ground and watched with anticipation.  Greg could not wait to meet his kids.  The eggs continued to crack into a variety of spider web shapes.  One of the tops of the eggs suddenly popped off and Greg came face to face with the newest member of his family.  Greg then realized, with a slight grin, that he was the proud father of five baby Blue Pinch-toed Pygmy Rhinoceroses.


1 Corinthians 12:4-11 (NIV)
⁴ There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit.
⁵ There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.
⁶ There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.
⁷ Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.
⁸ To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit,
⁹ to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit,
¹⁰ to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.
¹¹ All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.




We have all been given different gifts.  We all have the same God.  One of my gifts is creativity.  What's yours and how are you using it to glorify the name of the Lord Jesus Christ?

Community

Community...community.......community..........comm...unity.

I used to believe I knew what this word meant.  I mean I have been a Christian almost my entire life and Christians are supposed to have a lock on community.  The Acts 2 Church was built upon the concept of sharing and "community".  Eccl. 4:9 and Gal 6:2 take of encouragement and supporting one another in case one falls.  The Bible is chalk full of references to the "community" term.  Look at Jesus and the disciples...they did everything together...they were living in great community.

But what is community?

I thought I knew.  That is until last week.  I visited my sister in Wichita and was sharing some of my frustrations with the ministries I was involved in and how I felt that I was called to take these responsibilities on by myself because no one else would...I am not sure why I expected compassion and empathy from her (if you know Rachel Cheek you understand), but the answer I got was this, "Stephen, you stink at community.  Do you ever feel superior to those that serve?".  I am in the midst of a first class wallow session and that is what she busts out.  Context: Rachel and her husband live within three blocks of four of her closest friends from college.  Every Monday, 14+ people come over to her house and she makes them gourmet food (it is called "Happy Food").  They will spend entire weekends just sitting around someone's house eating, sleeping, reading, playing games, and abiding in "community".  

It was in this context that I got my first wake up.  Fast forward one week.

I went to visit the other sister in Marian, KS who was due with her first baby.  The little stinker decided not to come while I was there but I spent a couple days with my brother who is attending Tabor College (ten minutes from Marian).  Every Monday, he and a bunch of friends lead a men only worship time on campus with music, small groups, a lesson, man hugs, and communion.  I have been before but this time was different partly due the previous weekend.  As the evening progressed, I just sat there.  My soul and body was not comprehending was going on around me.  Six different guys lead the six different parts of the service.  Silas, my brother, organized the event but did nothing during the actual service.  He was free to just sit and be ministered to by those around him.  For an hour and a half, I sat there in the basement of an old church watching this body of believers carry and support each other.  Attendees were praying with and FOR the leadership team.  There was no head guy or "pastor"...everyone was a pastor.

I sat there in spiritual confusion.  I rather painfully realized that I had no personal precedence for what I was witnessing.  Never in my life have I seen community so lived out in ministry.  I love to minister to others but that is what it is...me ministering TO others.  I have always been in charge, guiding and leading.  I was in awe.

So what is community?  What is God calling us to when He speaks of it?  What are WE meaning when we talk about?  Do we even know?  My definition of living together is scrapped.  After several confusing days, this is the best that I got:

Community is when a body of believers grow as one...body.  The head my think of ideas and encourage movement of the limbs but it is reliant upon the hands to feed it and the muscles to move it.  The feet may feel burdened by the weight of the whole body but that is when the butt shares the responsibility by sitting.  It is not an almighty pastor over a dumb congregation, it is in the words of the musketeer's "All for One and One for All".

I guess I really do not much; the last two weekends can pay atonement to that.  I am currently searching for answers, and pray that you would also be open to what God may be saying to you about how you are living and serving.  Is it solo or supported?  I have had the wrong perspective for years.  God wants us near Him...serving Him...with Him.  He is God...He does not any show-offs.  Just be.  Abide in His presence and His Community.

God Bless.

Change the World

This "rant" is not so much biblical and just a lot of Stephen "Ranting".

People who work with kids and youth but do not know how to work with kids and youth but continue to do such work because they think that they what is best for kids and youth when they actually want make the kids and youth do what the people thinks is best for them...tick me off.

We live in an era of the church where youth programs have become very distinct and often separated from the rest of the church.  Some ideas are that it is better this way so that the kids can be fed their own way and the adults can keep things their way.  Win-win right?

I have purely enjoyed my time as a youth group sponsor, seen the benefits of a great sponsor and program, and seen the hurt and frustration from a bad one (both from the perspective of a sponsor and as a youth).  Youth group is that special time of the week where kids are the #1 priority.  There are no committees or task forces or bulletins, just rocking for Jesus at their level.  It is incredible to see these kids open up when the realize that someone cares.

The wrenches in this beautiful set up comes when the church either overemphasizes the separation of the ages or undermines the separation without proper integration.

Case #1: When a church decides that kids should be seen and not heard in the church, that equals bad.  They start to assume that now that there is this special time for the youth to be ministered to, nothing about Sunday morning worship has to be for the youth.  They get their time so adults should get there time.  Adults push down the voice of the youth in church matters, theological discussions, and ministering goals because they are just those kids over there.  It is at this point that the negativity and resentment of the church towards the youth begins to seep into the isolated youth program and affects that ministry as well.  The results are an unhealthily separated church with negative and resentful youth that are not a part of the church and thus will leave it.

Case #2:  The other side is when churches choose to have no separation between their adult and youth ministries.  This idea appears when the adults of a congregation decide to turn youth time into their time.  No longer is this set aside time of age appropriate ministry squashed but no new place is made for them with the rest of the church.  I have seen several churches that do not have separate youth programs but they actively involve the kids in the service.  The church is for everyone, and everyone is fed differently.  The church can only thrive if it is willing to involve all of its members, no matter their ages.

I am passionate about youth.  Most anyone who knows me knows this.  I have been blessed with many gifts that I believe that God has called me to use for youth ministry.  They are the future of this world and Christianity.  If people continue to ignore their voice, both will die.

I in no way have meant to offend anyone through this writing, but just know that it is the church's responsibility to take care of its children.  You do not need to agree with me but please be willing to open your heart to hear the voice of those that may be different.  People and society change, if the church is not willing to adjust with the people that it serves, things are going to get really ugly really fast...but if it is willing to adjust...

if the church is willing to look beyond tradition and norms to meet the needs of the people that walk through their doors and are waiting behind the doors of their community, the can change the world.

Closed minds: world dead to morality and faith
Open minds: world on fire for Christ

We chose the course.

What a Cheater

1 Chronicles 14:13-17 (NIV)
¹³ Once more the Philistines raided the valley;
¹⁴ so David inquired of God again, and God answered him, "Do not go straight up, but circle around them and attack them in front of the balsam trees.
¹⁵ As soon as you hear the sound of marching in the tops of the balsam trees, move out to battle, because that will mean God has gone out in front of you to strike the Philistine army."
¹⁶ So David did as God commanded him, and they struck down the Philistine army, all the way from Gibeon to Gezer.
¹⁷ So David's fame spread throughout every land, and the LORD made all the nations fear him.




What a cheater.  I am serious...the Philistines made a totally fair tactical move in attacking, and David decided that he was too good for the most basic rules of dignified warfare.  "so David inquired of God"...I MEAN COME ON.

Um, Mr. Teacher, um...I don't know the answer this question on the test, could you just tell me?

What nerve.  I know David killed Goliath and all but that does not give him the right to be so darn arrogant.  And the worst part is that God TOLD HIM.  God gave David a test to measure his abilities and then just totally caves the first time that David asks for assistance because the situation seems a little "difficult".  God should not facilitate such behavior.  David needed to learn that he could not just come crawling back to God EVERY TIME some foreign power came to destroy his people and family.  Where is the lesson learning?  Tough love?  How is David supposed to work on his battle strategies if God just tells him what to do every time?

Heavenly Daddy's Boy.

It just is not fair.  The rest of us have to go through life without "answers".  We just have to guess if what we are doing is right.  There is no "Almighty Omnipotent Creator" for us to run to whenever life gets hard.  NOOOO...we HAVE to do it OURSELVES.

But I am glad.  I am so much more independent and free and in control.  I can totally take all the credit for all  my achievements and successes because I did with my own two hands.  Sure, I may be more lost at times than "Mr. I Have God to Help Me Out", but I call those learning experiences.  All those emotionally, mentally, and physically scarring experiences just teach me how view and handle the world.  They show people that I AM TOUGH AND STRONG.  I DO NOT NEED ANYONE ELSE BECAUSE I CAN DO IT BY MYSELF...I can do it by myself...I am fine.............I do not need anyone..................I am free..........


Mr. Teacher.....can I have some help?  I do not know how to do this.